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Collection of jokes: Part 06

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Post time: 30-12-2018 07:30:34
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John visited his 90-year-old grandpa who lived way out in the country. On the first morning of the visit, John’s grandpa prepared a breakfast of bacon and eggs. John noticed a film-like substance on his plate, and asked, “Are these plates clean?”
His grandpa replied, “They’re as clean as cold water can get them. Just go ahead and finish your meal.”
For lunch, Grandpa made hamburgers. Again, John was concerned about the plates, as his appeared to have specks of dried egg on it. “Are you sure these plates are clean?” he asked.
Without looking up, Grandpa said, “I told you before, those dishes are as clean as cold water can get them!”
Later, as John was leaving, his grandpa’s dog started to growl and wouldn’t let him pass.
John said, “Grandpa, your dog won’t let me get by!”
Grandpa yelled to the dog, “Cold Water, go lie down!”
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Three men are in the middle of a desert when their car breaks down. For their hike to town, they each decide to take one thing with them.
One man takes a jug of water. The second man takes a sandwich. The last man takes one of the car doors.
The first man says to the last man: “I’m bringing the water because if I get thirsty, I can take a drink. And it makes sense to bring a sandwich in case we get hungry, but why bring a car door?”
The last man replies,  “If I get hot, I can just roll down the window.”
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A motorist is speeding down the road when he is pulled over. The officer tells him, "Sir do you realize how fast you were going?"
The motorist replies, "Yeah I know, but I have to go."
The cop interrupts him, "Not so fast. You're going to have to wait for the chief to get back in a few hours."
The cop immediately takes the man to jail. After a few hours the cop tells the man, "You're lucky, the chief is on his way back from his daughter's wedding, he'll be in a good mood."
The man replies, "I doubt it."
The cop snaps back, "Why do you say that?"
The man replies, "I'm the groom!"
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A man goes to the supply store and buys 300 chicks. He tells the owner, "I'm going to start a chicken farm!"
A couple of weeks later he returns and buys 300 more. The owner thinks it's weird but doesn't ask any questions.
Another couple of weeks later he returns to make the same purchase. At this point the owner is baffled and asks, "Why do you come back every couple of weeks and make the same purchase?"
The would-be farmer replies, "Well, I must be doin' somethin' wrong. I'm either planting them too deep or too close together."
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A doctor, a priest, and an army general are all flying in a plane together. To help the people the doctor drops a first aid kit and the priest drops a bible. The army general has nothing else to drop so he drops a grenade.
They land on the ground and first they find a man playing with the bandages from the first aid kit. Next they find a man unconscious on the ground with the bible next to him. Finally they come to a young boy who is laughing hysterically. When they ask him what is so funny he replies "My grandpa farted and my house exploded!"

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A fellow walked into a bank in New York City asking for a loan for $4000 dollars. “Well, before we lend you the money we are going to need some kind of security” the bank teller said. “No problem” the man responded here are the keys to my car “you’ll see it, it’s a black Porsche parked in the back of the parking lot.” A few weeks later the man returned to pay off his loan. While he was paying it up, along with the interest of $11 dollars, the manager came over, “sir, we are very happy to have you’re business, but if you don’t mind me asking, after you left we looked into you and found out that you are a millionaire, why would you need to borrow $4000 dollars?”“Well, the fellow responded it’s quite simple, where else can I park my car for three weeks in New York for $11 dollars?”
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AbhilashaJ + 10 Very nice!

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Post time: 1-1-2019 19:36:25
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good ones
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Post time: 1-1-2019 19:59:10
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Good jokes. Enjoyable reading
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